We are all human beings with issues, problems, fears and bad days.  We have bills to pay, children to shuffle around, husbands who want dinner on the table, careers that demand our attention, and let’s not forget our own desires and needs.  And, if it makes you feel any better, I rarely feel like I have it all together!

However, I’ve stopped putting the pressure on myself to pretend that I do.  Aaahhhh….life becomes so much more beautiful when you take that pressure off and just be real.  In my opinion, this the art of being a powerful woman.

Just last week, I was in Paris with two of my girlfriends.  Over a café crème and croissant, I turned to my friend Julie and said, “I feel like I need to go within and curl up with my soul for awhile.”  (As a side note:  France always holds a mirror up to my truth).

I need to put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on my life.

Of course, this brought up a lot of fear.  What will people think?  What will happen to my one woman business?  What will happen to my friends if I’m not there 24-7?  What will people think if I say no?

Sound familiar?

Then, I came back to my own core teachings/questions–

• What will I think of me if I don’t honor myself?
• Who cares what people think of me?
• How do I want to feel?
• What do I need?

As I type this, I’m sitting on my back porch, staring at my clematis vine, buds waiting to explode into a vibrant violet flower.  I feel like that’s been my life for awhile now–budding, opening and shining for the whole world to see.  For sure, it’s a beautiful thing.  Who doesn’t love being the flower?

But, as I sit here, I realize that I want to be more like the carrot right now–digging deep into the soil of life, gaining nourishment from the ground so I can become sweet, rich and deep in my own being.  I want to sit by the embers of my own soul and be warmed by my own truth.

At the beginning of the year, I chose trust as one of my words.  I had no idea why, but it spoke to me.  Something told me that it was what I was going to need this year.  Now, I’m seeing it clearly.  I need to trust my inner voice.  I need to trust my desires.  I need to truth my voice.  I need to trust that the perfect people are showing up in my life to teach me what I need to learn. I need to trust that that I’m being guided towards my own sweetness.

So, for now, I’m putting up the “Do Not Disturb” sign on my life.  I’m craving stillness, solitude, crazy self-care and truth.  I want to write, walk in the woods, cook fabulous meals that are like art, share coffee with friends, plan a once in a lifetime Paris retreat for women to experience the Parisian magic that changed me (and continues to), curl up with my daughter, have long talks with my husband, plant basil, sit in bubble baths, slather my body in coconut oil, do headstands, meditate, clean out closets, reread the classics, sit and do nothing everything.  I want to dream, scheme and plan.  I want to go within, close the door and put out the “Do Not Disturb” sign.

I know that when I’m ready, I’ll take down the sign, step out into the world probably wearing a pair of Louboutins and lipstick!  I’ll have more to offer, and who knows what it might be.  I don’t need to know.  You don’t need to know.  It will be known when the time is right.  But, I guarantee you this: it will be delicious, like a big, fat juicy carrot!

A French lady once said to me, “Darling, the art of being a woman requires solitude so that the artist can rest and dream.”

I’m closing my door for awhile to rest and dream, and I give you permission to do the same.

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

-Audrey Hepburn

People have said that I live a charmed life.  What they see is a woman that travels, host fabulous dinner parties, hangs out with really cool people and has a passion for shoes, wine and great conversations.

Does this make a charmed life?  Well, not necessarily.

The truth is that I have known many people who do very similar things as me.  In fact, some of them fly around in private jets, don’t have to work, always book the penthouse, don’t blink at ordering a bottle of Petrus and have a closet packed with designer handbags. This is not my life.  But, again, does this make one’s life charmed?

In all my travels, I have encountered the charmed lifestyle in the most unusual of places, like my friends who live in a schoolyard in Antibes or my old professor who lives by the river in a little bungalow filled with books and music.

I’ve come to experience the charmed life as something that can’t be bought because it’s magic does not come from things, but from experiences paired with seeing the world as a grand romance.

At the end of the day, it’s the small, little gestures, the simple pleasures and the little details that add sparkle to a woman’s being that creates a charmed life.

A charmed life is…

mornings of leisure sipping coffee and watching the sun rise.

defining success on your own terms, which will never be found in chasing money, a man or a certain body.

ignoring the incessant mind chatter and sinking fully into the present moment.

an elegance in how you walk, speak and live.

accepting things as they are.  Now. In this moment.

simple, not stuffed.

not hurried, but slow and steady with occasional bursts of passion.

sipping a good Bordeaux while discussing what Paris must have been like during the roaring 20’s.

doing work play that you adore.

not obsessing or worrying over things outside of your control.

sharing who you are while also keeping a little mystique.

filled with hugs and kisses.  Lots.

having brunch with girlfriends (with Champagne, of course).

spending time listening, playing and being with your kids.

sending handwritten thank you cards with a little spritz of your favorite perfume.

having the ability to carry on a conversation in any situation.

beautiful meals shared with people you love with stimulating conversations as the main course.

strolling along the Avenue des Champs-Élysées searching for that perfect Parisian find.

feeling great in your own skin.

full of fresh flowers and candles.

living in moderation but occasionally having dessert and the second glass of wine.

finding your own formula for wellness.

not becoming a slave to habits, good or bad.

having your own signature perfume.

good manners from the way you eat to how you treat others.

creating white space to dream, read, play and love.

getting lost in a French village.

lounging around the house in silk lingerie and fluffy slippers.

full of gastronomic orgasms, while also…

dining like a lady.

baths filled with patchouli oils in the summer and sandalwood in the winter.

wearing high heels to the grocery store on a Monday morning.

sipping afternoon tea while listening to Etta James.

boarding a plane to visit a new land.

reading Rumi to your lover.

learning a new language.

infusing your day with simple pleasures such as haute couture chocolates.

treating people with kindness and respect.

using your fine china on an ordinary day.

wearing lipstick to walk to the mailbox.

playing tag, frisbee or anything that makes you feel like a kid.

seducing the world with your je ne sais quoi and joie de vivre.

filling your home with only items you adore.

living in a state of constant curiosity and amazement.

full of smiles and laughter.

visiting the farmer’s market to pick up the best of this season’s offerings for a dinner party.

having friends that make you belly laugh and challenge you to do the unthinkable.

constantly cultivating your mind with literature, art and music.

waking up each morning seeing the day as a blank page for you to write, and…

living each day is if it’s a grand adventure…because it is!

What else will you add to this list?

Haute Couture

Origin: French

Exclusive, custom fit, made to order for a specific customer; made from high-quality, expensive fabric and sewn with extreme attention to detail and finished by the most experienced and capable seamstresses, often using time-consuming, hand-executed techniques

Gwyneth Paltrow stepped onto the red carpet at the 2012 Oscars wearing a stunning white Tom Ford dress with a cape.  Her hair pulled back, a simple cuffed bracelet and minimal makeup.  No one could have worn that dress like Gwyneth.  It was made just for her.  It was haute couture.

The haute couture life is the same, designed and fitted just for you.  When you wear it, you will look and feel fabulous.  While living it, you’ll feel like you’re on the red carpet wearing an haute couture Dior.

If your life is not haute couture, what is it?

If you’re life isn’t being designed and crafted by you, it’s most likely a generic, off the rack, dollar store, or worse, a knock off Iife.  In other words, it’s passionless, draining, boring, exhausting, stressful, black and white and ill-fitted.

Doing work that others think you should do, wearing clothes that don’t make you feel beautiful, finding yourself frequenting the drive-thrus and eating out of bags, hanging out with draining, uninspiring people and living a life of fear and anxiety are all signs of a knock off life.

However, there is some fabulous news.  Go look in the mirror.  Staring back at you is your own inner Coco who knows what looks good on you.

Channel your Inner Coco

Of all the people in the world, no one is more equipped and able to create your haute couture life than you.  Your soul is the designer and your mind is the seamstress.   The former guides you towards your perfectly fitted life and the former is what helps you create it in the real world.

So, darling, take some deep breaths and channel your inner Coco Chanel.  It’s time to create some haute-ness.  Shall we?

Steps to Haute-ness

Refuse to buy Knock Offs

When walking through New York, I am sometimes approached by a street vendor trying to sell me a knock off Louis Vuitton or Prada.

No, merci!  If I can’t afford the real thing, I don’t want it.  I feel the same about life.  I want the real thing.  The life meant just for me.

So, the first step to creating an haute couture life is to refuse to buy knock offs.

Here a some ways:

• Let go of the draining relationships (e.g. the friend who’s always complaining, the abusive boyfriend, the women that you have nothing in common with other than you all decided to procreate, etc.)
• Get rid of any clothing that doesn’t make you feel beautiful.  This can be done piece by piece or you can do a massive purge
• Start moving your body on a daily basis
• Begin to treat time as a commodity.  Spending time mindlessly or without strategy  does not fit into an haute couture life.  Begin to rid your calendar of commitments that feel like you just walked into the dollar store (and you’ll know which ones those are because you’ll feel shackled by just the thought of doing it).
• Become aware and work on your dollar store thoughts:

I’m not good enough
I can’t afford it
I don’t have time
No one will love me
I’m not smart enough

You must begin to create space for creativity, passions and inspiration.  This cannot happen as long as you’re stuck in a generic, knock off life.

Clear and Clean. Then, collect and create.

Collect your Passions

Whenever a designer begins to conceptualize a garment, he starts with his inspirations–colors, a place, an era in time, a piece of artwork, certain lines, etc.  Then, he begins to sketch.

The process is the same for creating an haute couture life.  Begin to notice the things that inspire or interest you–people, hobbies, books, a charity, places, etc.  Commit to infusing your daily life with at least one of your passions, hopefully more.

Focus on Quality

Imagine paying $60,000 for a dress that unraveled at the seams because the material was bought from some mass production factory in China.  Not haute couture.

If you want to live an haute couture life, you must focus on infusing your experience with quality–people, foods, experiences, books, etc.  Rid your experience of cheapness–draining relationships, junk foods, crap thoughts, clutter, excesses.  This will leave you with the resources to focus on pure quality.

Detail is the Sparkle

A vase of fresh flowers, a beautiful home-cooked meal, a trip to the farmer’s market, a handwritten note, a beautiful scarf, a meaningful conversation…these beautiful details are what adds sparkle to your life.  It wouldn’t be haute couture without them.

Be Wild and Original

Many of the haute couture pieces that you see grace the Paris runways during fashion week are wild works of art.  You will not find them in the local department stores or the dollar store.

They are unique, one of a kind pieces.

If your designed life looks just like your neighbors, it’s not haute couture. It’s a replication, something you could pick up at the local Nordstroms.

Which would you rather have?

Slow Down…haute couture takes time

An haute couture gown can take up to one thousand hours to create.  A customized life is no different.  If you feel the need to hurry, I promise you that you’ll end right back in the dollar store, because hurry creates fear and anxiety.  An haute couture life is created from a place of inspiration, joy and excitement.

So, slow down to savor your meals.  Stroll around your neighborhood after dinner.  Take the time to read a book.  Take long baths.  The haute couture lifestyle is slow and sexy.

It’s Not about the Money, Honey

I have some dear friends who live in Antibes, France.  By materialistic standards, they are not wealthy.  In fact, they live a very modest life.  However, when I visit them, I leave wanting more of what they have–a life filled to the brim with simple pleasures. Real wealth.

They rock out their haute couture lives with bike rides to work by the sea, backyard cookouts on the weekends, taking dinner to neighbors, celebrating a self-proclaimed pastis day, quality time with family and a conversations that leave you changed.

Fortunately, for us, the haute couture life does not have the same grand price tag of a Dior gown, which only a handful of women in the world can afford.

The haute couture life does cost awareness, time and attention, but not necessarily a lot of money.  It’s more about simple pleasures than gaudy adornment.  In fact, some of the most generic lives I know are full of materialism and money.  They’ve crafted a life based on a pattern not designed by them but by society.  One that encourages them to work hard, buy things and keep up with the Jones, leading to stress, debt and a life of external wealth but internal poverty.  In other words, a gaudy, knock off life.

When it comes to designing a beautiful, custom life, lean on the side of simple elegance and pleasures.

Many fittings will be required

Don’t expect to slide into and haute couture life without many fittings.  The truth is that our desires and needs are always changing. The key is to stay keenly aware of when you feel like your life is not fitting you beautifully and knowing how to readjust or just add a little sparkle.  At some point, you may want to retire your haute couture design and start again.  As long as it feels good and is being inspired by your soul, continue with pleasure.

Flaunt it!

Love, you are beautiful, even as you are designing your most grand life.  So, flaunt it. Make the world your runway and show us what you’ve got!

Will you Share your Haute Couture Lifestyle Secrets?

How have you learned what stays and what goes?
Where do you find your inspiration?
Do you have special ways of adding sparkle to your life?
Do you have some special ways of creating your haute couture life?

Please share and inspire in the comments below with your own designer secrets.

Photo love – piccsy

Sound familiar?  Keep reading.

In my life at this moment, I am building a house, launching the Slim, Chic and Savvy 10-week Immersion, planning and packing for my French Kiss the World Society retreat in South Beach this weekend, filling out high school applications for my daughter, planning for a special LIVE event that I’ll be hosting on Thursday, planning an event for Paris in the fall, writing my book and helping a friend launch her business.  I’m also dealing with a possible BIG transition that’s going to require a lot of planning.  And, let’s not forget all of the little daily activities of cooking, cleaning, running a home and some me time.

Everything that I just listed are big projects.  So, within each of them are many tiny steps that must be taken.  One little decision and step at a time.

And, I’m not freaking out. I’m not going into overwhelm. And, I’m not heading to the fridge to avoid life (something that used to be my go-to for relief).   In fact, I’m calm, excited and getting a lot of stuff done.

So, how do I do it?

Well, I’m going to be sharing my mindset and lifestyle secrets that help me create pleasurable productivity on a call with my friend and colleague, Melissa Cook, tonight on a very special call.  She and I went on a European adventure last fall and noticed a culture that focuses on living, not working (something that many of us often forget).  We took notes and have been incorporating what we’ve learned into our lives, and we’re giving it away.

She’s the diva of productivity, and I’m the queen of pleasure. So, it’s going to be a tres interesting call.

Pour yourself a glass of wine, take a deep breath and come join us!

Here’s to getting stuff done with grace and flow.

xoxo,

Tonya

Image Source: Tumblr

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah!
Do the wiggle yeah!

I realized that this is exactly how I’ve created success.  One wiggle at a time.

Let’s rewind time, shall we?  Sometimes it’s really hard to believe that this is my life, because quite frankly, ten years ago, I was a hot mess.

However, caught up in where I was, I had a really difficult time seeing what was possible for me.  I kept trying to change my life from the same place that I had created it, and it wasn’t working for me. STUCK!

I needed to start wiggling.

So, I did something that others thought was crazy.  I left a marriage that wasn’t working for me.  Now, I was a single mom.  From the outside, it didn’t look like I had taken a step in the right direction. I was broke and alone.  But, it was my first wiggle out of a life that was no longer working for me.

Then, I quit my very secure job as a nurse and went back to school.  Another wiggle.

Soon, I took up running.  At first, I could only run for one minute without becoming hypoxic.  Little wiggle. Later, I would complete two marathons within a year.  Major wiggle.  

I started drinking wine.  Okay, that sounds strange, but I had grown up in a home that banned alcohol, so my relationship with alcohol (as well as most things) had been built in extremes (too much or none at all).  So, I enrolled in sommelier school and began to study the art, science and business of wine.  This experience taught me the art of moderation and savoring. Three months later, I was working as a food and wine writer.  Wiggle.  

I boarded my first flight when I was twenty-five.  Actually, I flew to New Mexico when I was two, but because I don’t remember, it doesn’t really count.  Buying that ticket was another wiggle out of the life I knew into the one I wanted to create.

I landed in Paris.  This was more of a quantum shift than a wiggle, but all the little wiggles had led to this moment.   Paris changed me.

I signed up for a cooking class.  My taste buds exploded with flavor, and I realized that I could create a body I loved while savoring delicious foods:  fine cheeses, foie gras, braised meats, fresh vegetables from the farmer’s market and haute-couture chocolate. For me, this was a huge wiggle considering I grew up on fried chicken and cheese out of a wrapper followed by over a decade of my life depriving myself through dieting.  (By the way, I still love fried chicken!)

At a crossroads of life, trying to find my voice in the world, I hired a coach.  She helped me wiggle out of the beliefs that still lingered in the crevices of my mind.

I gathered the courage to travel on an international trip alone.  I remember sitting on the plane thinking to myself, “Is this really you?”  That was a major wiggle moment.

I sat in the offices of the Prince of Monaco talking business.  Do what?  Yes, I had wiggled myself into the Disney World of billionaires.

My stories of wiggling my way to success are endless, and I share them with you only because I know the feeling of being overwhelmed and feeling stuck with where you are.

Love, you must start wiggling.

Instead of focusing on the big steps, what are some small ways that you can shake up your world?

I know of one for you.  The Slim, Chic and Savvy 10-week immersion program starts on February 27th and today is the last day to receive the love offering of $100 off the investment of the program.  Plus, I offer a payment plan option.  And, when you join the program, you have lifetime access.  So, it’s not just 10 weeks, but each time I run it, you’re in!

Now, here’s what you need to know about every time I’ve wiggled:  my excuses would blaze.

But, I knew deep in my being that I had to do something different, take risks and stop letting excuses rob me of the life I desired.  I had to let them burn.

So, what do you say?  Want to wiggle with me?  Want to finally burn those excuses?

Go check the program and get signed up ASAP.  You’ll be joining a community of women who are wiggling their slim, chic and savvy selves into their dream lives: dropping excess weight, becoming authors, traveling around the world, attracting dream romances, becoming food snobs and starting their own businesses.

This is not a diet. It’s a lifestyle program that teaches you how to wiggle into your most slim, chic and savvy self.

So excited to possibly mentor you!

xoxo,

When this happens to me, I know I’ve been seduced by the Universe.  It’s like God is sitting up there playing the game hotter/colder that we played as kids.  I’m being led.  So, I take notes.  I notice what’s happening.  I become a scientist of these experiences.  Then, I work on creating them over and over in my life.  This is what making your life art looks like.  This is when the world truly becomes your playground.

I just had one of these experiences.  Watch the video now to find out how I was seduced.

I’d also love to hear from you, so make sure you leave a comment.  It’s time we learn to seduce ourselves!

xoxo,

Tonya

But, I didn’t know what else to do.  Truthfully, I was a diet ho, spending my days and nights pimping my body and soul out to the next miracle, the promise of a better body, the next booty slimming shake.  Dieting was my drug!

Yet, it wasn’t working.  I couldn’t get slim enough, healthy enough, lean enough.  Regardless of my weight, I was miserable. I was so outside of myself, I couldn’t see my own truth.

In order to find my truth, I had to find my own way.  That, I was not familiar with.   That involved new skills, a new mindset and self trust. Foreign!

Enter Foreign Country

I arrived in Paris on a sunny April day.  All my life, I had dreamed of visiting the city of lights, and now that I was there, I didn’t even notice the gleaming lights, ancient architecture or even the Eiffel tower.  All that caught my attention were the slim, chic and savvy women that graced every street, cafe and store.

I was perplexed!

What did they know that I didn’t?  How was it that they could look so fabulous while eating foie gras and sipping wine?  How could they be so confident and self-possessed?  What was this je ne sais quoi?

I didn’t know, but I my inner Frenchie whispered, “Bienvenue mon amie,” and I knew I had finally found a model that felt like love and play, not a daily hell.

So, I started reading about French culture, hired a French teacher, read about Coco Chanel and Voltaire.  I studied those French women like they were lab rats.  I went to sommelier school.  I may not be French, but I was certainly trying!

And, my weight?

Don’t know, because I threw the scales away. But, over the course of months, my clothes were looser, my skin more radiant and I was happy!  And, I wasn’t dieting!

That was a miracle.

But, my learning didn’t stop in Paris, because I didn’t live in Paris.  I lived in the good ole’ US of A where fast food and fast living were the norm.  So, I needed to understand the process of change, how to create a mindset of success, how to live like a Parisian in a very American world.  So, I spent hours reading books on Eastern philosophy, studied cookbooks (not diet books) and became a Master coach.  Every day became an experiment to finding my own joie de vivre.

Finally, I felt like I had cracked the code.

At the end of the day, there was only one word to describe my transformation:

LOVE

The best diet in the world does not involve obsessive calorie counting, restriction, binging, surgery, pills or shakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  It doesn’t involve hours in the gym or a “no pain, no gain” way of life.  It simply involves love!

What is love?

It’s surrounding yourself with people who are full of inspiration and joy, not hurt.  My friend, Sean Stephenson, says, “There is no hate in the world, just hurt.”  I had surrounded myself with hurting and hurtful people, and I had to release them so that I could wrap myself in the cashmere blanket of l’amour.

Love is taking time to sit down and enjoy a delicious meal with family and friends without the constant “I shouldn’t” or “I’ll start tomorrow” mentality.

Love is waking up in the morning and putting on your finest and making the world your runway.  For me, it’s heels and lipstick.  Trust me, it makes you think twice before eating the bag of Cheetos in the car.

Love is walking away from the fridge and walking into your own divine altar to tap into something more powerful than you.

Love is moving your body to song and taking strolls around the neighborhood.  It’s even running a marathon if the intention is love not punishment.

Love is play.

Love is walking with your shoulders high and your heart open.

Love is investing in a nice corset to hold your beautiful bosom.

Love is a glass of Champagne shared in celebration.

Love is allowing yourself to have insanely ecstatic sex!

Love is standing shoulder to shoulder with and celebrating the most beautiful woman in the room because you know that you are just as beautiful.

Love is getting rid of the clutter that is drowning your desires.

Love is embracing who you are–craziness and all.

The Ugly Truth about LOVE

Love ain’t easy.  It takes patience, kindness and attention.  It requires that you stop running life on auto-pilot and be intentional.  It requires effort.  Love is sometimes damn hard, because…

Love requires that you feel.

Love requires saying no.

Love requires saying yes.

Love begs for you to give to yourself.

Love demands that you take up for yourself.

Love takes time.

Love lives in a state of presence.

Love asks you to slow down and savor.

Love asks that you stop trying to fix yourself and celebrate instead.

Love loves improvement, not proving.

Love requires that you do things that scare you silly.

Love doesn’t care how many tasks you checked off for the day.

Love asks you to eat one piece of chocolate, not the whole package.

Love asks you to put on your finest even when you feel your worst.

Love is embracing your shame.

Love is…loving what is!

How to Live an Insanely Wild and Gorgeous Life

First, stop looking for plans, prescriptions or step-by-step approaches.  Instead, start hunting out love.

Find a supportive community.

Put on something beautiful.

Play with people who inspire you.

Practice presence.

Eat a piece of chocolate.

Dance the night away.

Burn a candle.

Chant “I am love” three times every hour.

Go to bed early.

Watch a sunrise.

Hire a babysitter and go on a hot date with your husband.

Swear off sweatpants for a week. Seriously!

Sit down for your meals.

Feel your feelings.

Discover a hobby and indulge often.

Throw a dinner party.

Give yourself a kiss every day!

A Love Bootcamp

After having women ask me how I did it–lost weight, tapped into self-made confidence and found my own joie de vivre, I decided to create a one of a kind program called Slim, Chic and Savvy to share the inner and outer shifts that I discovered through my own journey.  I don’t call it a weight loss program, because the results reach far beyond weight.  Instead, it’s a lifestyle program that has led to women starting businesses, publishing books, traveling around the world, healthier relationships, and yes, losing weight too!

Slim, Chic and Savvy women do crazy things like brag daily, go on challenging weekend excursions and there’s even an exercise that involves your bra and a fire (but this one’s hush-hush unless you’re in the community).  You’ll learn the principles of dining that I learned from my French friends, which allows me to be a hedonist and stay happily slim. You’ll also be challenged to do some scary things that lead to BIG results.

It’s not conventional (because I’m not a conventional gal).  It’s not a how-to (because I don’t like being told what to do). It’s not a diet (because they don’t work).

The Slim, Chic and Savvy 10-week Immersion program is a melange of mindset and lifestyle techniques and skills that have changed the lives of hundreds of women.  Yes, including yours truly!

If you want to get a little taste of this lifestyle, click here to sign up for my community’s favorite Slim, Chic and Savvy tips that will be released on February 13th.  It’s free.  It’s fun.  It’s life changing.  And yes, it’s my LOVE to you!

xoxo,

Tonya

“You live but once; you might as well be amusing.” -Coco Chanel

Bienvenue to the Premier of Tonya Leigh, a lifestyle brand devoted to inspiring the world to French Kiss Life!

My mission is simple:  inspire people to fall in love with life.

Because a woman in love with life is a magnet for her desires, both business and personal.

So, welcome lovelies!  I am delighted, ecstatic and giddy that you are here.

This month I celebrate my birthday, so I thought it would be most appropriate to kick off my new brand with a party–a celebration of life!

I don’t want to live a mediocre life, and I’m pretty certain that you don’t either.

It’s draining, it’s stifling and, quite frankly, it’s not what we were meant to do.

My cousin just e-mailed me, “My ex-boyfriend use to say that every day is Christmas and every night New Year’s Eve.”

Sign me up for that calendar.  That’s how I want to live.  I want to party, flirt, seduce and be present with each moment (yes, even the not so fabulous ones).

So, I want to offer you a life celebration challenge.  Pick one or many, but do something each day that toasts this precious gift.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started, but I’d love for you to add your own in the comments below:

Drink Champagne on a Monday night just because it’s, well…Monday

Use your best china while watching the Super Bowl

Dress up in your sexiest outfit to stroll the grocery store (I’m talking make-the-butcher-turn-his-head sexy)

Buy fresh flowers for your home and office

Cook a meal straight out of the pages of Bon Appetit and invite your favorite person in the world to share it with you

Dance with your child during her homework break

Invest in matching and ooh-la-la sexy lingerie

Kiss someone (even if it’s your dog)

Listen to romantic, sexy music all day

Throw your arms around your husband/boyfriend/partner and whisper “I love you” in the middle of a domestic dispute

Put on your best lipstick and seal your own self worth with a kiss

Catch yourself in a complaint and say, “No darling, we’re not going there this time,” and find a solution or celebrate (or both)

For one solid day (that will hopefully spill into many) chant, write, sing and lather yourself in the belief, “I am one strong and sexy woman”

Practice accepting a compliment with a simple “thank you” without deflection or excuses (the old, “Thank you, you do too” or “Oh no, I look horrible” has got to go)

Choose to do absolutely nothing  at that moment when you feel you should be doing everything (you’ll live and the world will not implode.  I promise.)

Pack your child a lunch with sandwiches in the shape of a heart with a little love note

Put on your party dress, dancing shoes and go to a salsa club and rediscover what it feels like to be alive!

LET’S CELEBRATE!

We all have a choice:  complain and fight or sanction and celebrate!

The first keeps you stuck in your muck.

The latter is a sweet release that provides instant gratification, catapulting you into the party of your own life.

Want to join the party?

Go ahead.  Pop open the bubbly, put on your best dancing shoes and declare today (and every day) a celebration of your most precious gift–the gift of your own existence.

If you want to party with me on a regular basis, get on my love list.  I’ll be sending you little reminders, updates and sweet virtual gifts of celebration and love!

Feeling too shy to French Kiss Life just yet.  Don’t fret.  You can start with my free 5 day Kiss on the Cheek series designed to ease you into going all the way.

Sign up to get the love and kisses!

This is where I give it all to you!

Makes my Soul Sing (sounds of love and inspiration):

“Life is one grand sweet song, so start the music.” -Unknown

I create my day around music.

Before I write, I choose a song to inspire me:

You’ve Got the Love (Florence and the Machine) (listen)

Break time?  I put on a song and dance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk1lc8N5W-k&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Cooking?  Something sexy and delicious:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtHgOjTW6Xk&feature=related

In the car?  Who knows, but it will be good:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIfaPyyxy6s

Enjoy my love songs to you!

Makes my Body Smile (products I love):

For the Booty:  Hanky Panky’s (the thong that you don’t even know is there)

For the Lips:  Nars (Catfight is my fav!)

Mental Candy (food and play for the mind):

Okay, I’ll admit that this isn’t a deep philosophical read, but it’s my birthday, and I’ll read a girlie fun book if I want to.

You’re welcome to join me if you desire to explore the simple essence of the daily French culture and infuse it into your own life.

Because within every woman is her inner Frenchie:  seductive, passionate and independent!

Pure Hedonism (Foods I love sans the Guilt) :

Chocolate is sexy. It’s seductive.  It’s an exploration of the senses and a little warming of the soul.

When I stumbled upon a little chocolate shop on Madison Avenue with Sarah (my daughter) and saw that they served lavender infused white hot chocolate, I knew that I had just walked into hedonistic real estate.

I was reminded that chocolate is not just a food but an experience.

All that’s required is high quality chocolate, time to savor and a refusal to feel like you’ve committed some heinous crime over your little guilty pleasure.  And, must I remind you that women all over the world enjoy eating their un petit piece of chocolate on a daily basis while staying slim and healthy?

Here’s one of my favorite haut couture chocolate makers:  Vosges Chocolates

You can find their bars at Whole Foods, but if you want a truly delightful experience, order their Collezione Italiana truffles infused with parfums of Taleggio cheese, Balsamic Vinegar and pine nuts.

Yes, it’s expensive, but this is called hedonism for a reason.  Plus, you are totally worth it!

Each month, I’ll be releasing one to you, hopefully inspiring you to fall in love with your own life.

This month’s love letter?

My morning lover.  He’s hot, warm and knows how to treat a woman well.

Dear Cup O’ Joe,

Like clockwork, I stumbled into the kitchen this morning at 5 a.m., poured your shiny, dark seeds into my grinder and within seconds, watched you crumble into grinds. What a sacrifice you make for me.

I’ve heard people call you a “fix” or, even worse, an addiction. Well, I wish they would convince a whole continent of Europeans who have made a culture out of their morning le café. They don’t seem to be concerned that their adrenals are going to burn out or that some pesticide may have touched the bean.

They simply savor.

I think it’s because they feel for you like I do–in love. The love is not just for you but with how you fit into our lives–you are our often our first stop on a beautiful day.

A fabulous life is made up of loving rituals, and I consider my time alone in the wee morning hours with just me and you to be one of my tiny celebrations of life.  Plus, the little caffeine jolt you give me isn’t bad either.

Sure, if I mindlessly drank you all day, with no regards to whether you’re stale and old or bought the cheapest thing in the stores to get my morning high, that wouldn’t be love. That’s an addiction. Mindlessly and excessively doing anything without reverence to the quality, quantity or the simple act of doing immediately takes something out of the love category and shoves it into insignificance.

You will never be that to me.  In fact, the first thing I do when I wrap my hands around you is take a deep inhale of your nutty flavor.  Only then will I sip.

Then, I don’t gulp you down only to get more. I’ve trained myself to slow down and sip you the way you deserve to be sipped.  And, the fact that over 1.4 billion cups are consumed in one day makes me wonder if the rest of the world should slow down a little too.

And, for the record, sitting down in an outdoor cafe with you and a good book in front of me is one of the happiest moments of my life.  And, one of the reasons that I love shopping for perfume is because between samples, I get to plunge my nose into a tiny crystal bowl of your beans, sniff you and anticipate our next rendevous.

Thank you for being a part of my life. With a love affair like ours, I know you’ll never burn out my adrenals, but even if you do, our time together will have been worth it. However, I think you and I both know that pleasure is key to a healthy relationship with you.  One can’t handle too much of you Joe, because you are one hot and strong dude.  However, in small doses, you make a woman very happy.

Til the Morning,

Tonya