Does Style Really Matter? (These images may change your mind!)

Blog_Putting on Lipstick (1200x1200)

“One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art.” 
― Oscar Wilde

I remember looking in the mirror over ten years ago and not even recognizing myself.

The word chic was not a part of my vocabulary.  In fact, I was quite frumpy.

When women look at me now, they often assume I came out of the womb rocking haute-couture.  

If they only knew. 

The other night, I was revisiting that girl from year’s ago, and I remember her thinking a few things:

:: My body doesn’t deserve to be chic.

:: When I change my body, then I’ll take pride in the way I dress.

:: I don’t even know where to start with being stylish.

:: I don’t have time.  I’m a new mama.

Of course, these were just excuses, and as you can see (from the image on the left), they weren’t serving me.

Before and After

How did it begin to turn around for me?  Well, I remember eating Cheetohs out of a bag one night while swooning over George Clooney in ER.  If only I could have a man like that, my life would be SO much better.  

I quickly realized, as I looked down at my cheesy fingers and crumbs all over my sweatpants, that a man like George would not be interested in a woman in my tattered state.

I had finally had enough of my excuses.  And, one of the first things I started to do was pay more attention to how I presented myself to the world.  And, it wasn’t easy.

My mind tried to convince me that I wasn’t worth the effort.

I did it anyway!

It’s quite fascinating what can happen to a woman’s state of being when she learns to master her own mind AND make the extra effort, such as putting on a necklace, buying a dress or simply putting on a little makeup.

However, you may think, as I did, that little actions can’t change big problems.

But, that’s exactly how I became Slim, Chic & Savvy, one little action step at at time.  And, those small efforts led to big results.

See for yourself:

Tonya_Before and After 2

Cultivating my personal style has been a crucial part of my healing.

So:  Does Style Matter?

The wanna-be Buddha within me wants to tell you “no”.

But, that wouldn’t be honest.  Because my heart believes that it does.  In fact, everything matters!

Perhaps Coco Chanel’s take on style sums it up:

Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.

Because of how style has impacted my life and body, one of my passions is opening a woman’s heart and mind to the power of her own personal expression.  

Ladies, it is time to stop waiting to care about your own personal style.  And, if I haven’t convinced you yet, try on these reasons:

1. Clothing can be used to change your mood.  

If you don’t believe me, ask yourself this:  Do I feel fabulous in what I’m wearing? If not, find your best outfit, change, and see how it makes you feel.  Or, when you’re waking up not feeling so hot and find yourself going straight for drab colors and loose-fitting outfits, challenge yourself to put on colors and something you often get complimented in.

Everything you choose to wear is carrying an energetic vibration.  (Tweet it!)

Choose to dress in a way that raises your vibration.  

2. How we dress is a form of play and creativity.

Clothing allows a woman to constantly express herself through fabrics, cuts and styles.  When was the last time you played dress up?  I believe that little girl still lives within all of us and wants to express her playful heart.

3. Clothing helps us tell our story.

Every day, we have an opportunity to make the world our runway and express who we are choosing to BE in the world through how we dress and attitude.  Right now, ask yourself, “What story am I telling?”

When it comes to being chic, it all boils down to this:

Use your attire, style and attitude to express yourself to the world.  (Tweet it!)

You can do that by finding an incredible dress marked 50% off or discovering a great signature item that the moment you put it on, you feel a powerful surge of energy.

It’s not about the price tag; it’s about how it makes you feel.

So, what’s your take on this one?  Do you think your style matters?

Related Articles:

Be a Bon Vivant & spread the Joie de Vivre!
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20 Responses to Does Style Really Matter? (These images may change your mind!)

  1. Hey Tonya,

    Thanks for sharing. I came across your blog a couple of months ago and it came *exactly* at the right time. I was in the middle of a complete breakdown and I felt such despair, I thought I’d never feel happy again.

    I could barely read through my tears, but there was one comment someone made somewhere on this blog where she said based on your advice, she put on some lipstick and… I don’t even know what… but after reading those words, I too put on some lipstick and went out.

    And since then, I’ve been in the process of completely turning my life around. And YES, style has been a HUGE part of that turnaround. Before my breakdown/breakthrough, I wore the same yoga pants and the same selection of 2 – 3 t-shirts day in and day out. I didn’t wear makeup and thought it didn’t matter because I work from home and I never see anyone.

    Now, I wear nice clothes that *I feel GOOD wearing* everyday. I put on my makeup and I show up ready to take on the world. I care about my appearance and I care about myself. And what a difference it’s made. In my entire life… in my business, my marriage, my friendships, my work, everything….

    Before I thought style wasn’t important because it wasn’t “spiritual” or whatever. But really that was just an excuse to keep allowing myself to wallow in self-pity for not living the life I envisioned.

    Now, I’m taking responsibility for myself and my life. My style includes not only my clothes, but also my home, my business, my relationships, and everything else. It’s all important and I want it all to reflect what I feel on the inside… which is absolutely incredible!

    Thank you, Tonya, for your part in helping me transform. It’s been an incredible journey so far and it’s only just begun. Thank you for creating this blog and thank you for sharing your Soul.

    – Amy

  2. Hi Amy,

    Thank you for sharing your story. So inspiring.

    Yes, style is everything, and I personally believe that it can be a spiritual tool.

    I’m so happy to read to read that you are picking yourself up and seeing what’s possible for you.

    I know what those breakdowns are like, and to be able to pick yourself up shows what a courageous woman you are!



  3. Thank you Tonya, for showing us that the”frivolous” things not only matter, but are what make life worth living and our dreams a reality.

    Love the before and after pics!


  4. Being authentic and accepting of myself at age 64 matters to me more than style. For me, being authentic has come to mean feeling beautiful without make-up and hair dye, and embracing my curly hair without fighting it into submission. I am not one to cave to the media’s image of glamor, of what women “should” look like. It’s meant letting go of high heels that hurt my feet and re-injure my back. It’s meant letting go of uncomfortable garments that may be stylish, but make me feel ill-at-ease in my own skin. It’s dressing for the little rural town I’m in, and/or the occasion I’m attending. I’m most comfortable fitting in and not standing out or appearing “the snob” by calling attention to myself by dressing better than everyone else. I embrace color and fabrics that feel good on my body. It’s been a journey to get to this place, and though I suspect it would not fit your definition of style… that’s ok.

  5. Hi Tonya…..I’ve only just discovered your blog in the past few weeks….(and I actually am a Stylist/Costume Designer and Image Consultant). I can honestly say that the most important work I do with my clients has nothing to do with putting together outfits or cleaning out closets … it’s about helping women discover that they can feel great about themselves, no matter where they are at in life. And, yes I agree 100% that a better outfit and a bit of lipstick has the power to completely change your world. You don’t need to become a “fashionista” or buy the latest trend … it’s all about what makes you feel confident and great about yourself and your life, as it is right now. The transformations and success I’ve seen occur with these small changes are nothing short of amazing. Thanks for this great post!

    • Hi Cori!

      I am certainly not a fashionista. I just love feeling my best! And, how great that you inspire women to see their beauty.

      Keep shining!

  6. I have only recently (with in the last 4 months) began to think more about what style actually is and what my personal style is. It has helped me to grow so much in not only my confidence but my self esteem. When we are just chasing after the latest fashions, it gives us no room to just be ourselves. While we do evolve over time, I do not think women’s style changes every season as the fashion experts would have us believe. Knowing who I am makes me feel more comfortable when dressing and going out because my clothes express me and who I really am.

  7. I have kept my eyes on this blog for a while, I have felt deeply inspired by your beautiful thoughts on elegant living. I myself, being in my early 20’s feel bombarded with these images of beauty, which have no quality, nor add anything truly valuable to my life- chasing after latest trends and beauty products has done nothing for me, only to clutter my mind and wardrobe. I have felt this shift from quantity to quality from deep within me, and I have been so inspired to read about style and a way of living which is all about quality and elegance from within. It takes me back to my childhood and reminds me of my elegant mother, who despite the struggles of being a single mom was an elegant woman and brought so much beauty into our lives.

  8. OOOh, you got me with the new mama thing. I mostly wear nursing shirts and never leave the house. Getting dressed up, even putting on make-up, is exhausting in the wake of taking care of the little ones. I feel great that I take a shower every day! I also have fallen into the trap of looking for a reason to dress up a little instead of doing it because it feels good. I recently cleaned out my closet of everything I no longer fit into (and haven’t for years) and found a silk dress that still fit. I put it on and showed it to my two year old. I will never forget the look of wonder in her eyes. She kept running back to me to look at me in the dress again. I want her to always look at me like that. That is the example that I want to be to her. Strangely, I think I feel afraid of how others will look at me, or what they will think if I make a sudden change. Maybe I don’t want to draw attention to myself or something. I will have to explore the reasons for that line of thinking. Great challenge for this week!

    • Hi Stephanie! Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing.

      First of all, be gentle with yourself. Being a new mama brings a lot of challenges.

      And, also notice how you feel when you put in the effort to dress up.

      As for not wanting the attention, YES, explore what’s under that.

      You’ll uncover some juicy stuff to work through to get to YOUR truth!



  9. style is everytihing: you have illustrated how it is integral in our thoughts, attitude, approach. Etc.. joie de vivre. We reflect our style every moment of the day, in everything we do and say. . .
    Thank you…..

  10. Thank you for your words of encouragement and inspiration.You have helped me come to realize that I really need to start caring about myself and my life. I am looking forward to reading and hearing more about this way of life.

  11. heading to Paris for the day for lunch and cocktails inspired by you website… for my 50th all picked out.. Carrie Bradshaw style

  12. Tonya, as always, you are brilliant. Style, I have learned, is not about where you buy your clothes, or how much you paid. It is about how you show up in the world – whether that’s in couture or blue jeans, full makeup or fresh faced. It’s about how you feel, and how you shine in the world. A lot of women don’t get that; thank you so much for SCS and for being a part of my development into a SCS woman!!

  13. I’m also one who never thought style or what you wear matters very much, because I’ve always been a big believer of looking past a person’s appearance in order to uncover the real beauty of the person inside. I’ve never wanted to be a superficial person or to think of myself as an “ulterior motives” type of person who likes someone or cultivates a friendship with someone just because they are rich or have nice clothes or whatever, I’ve always thought it was most important to see who the real person is inside. Having said that I would like to be more stylish, I was wondering if you’d have any suggestions as to how we can be more stylish if we have to wear a uniform for work or if, like me, we work as a babysitter for a living. You can’t get all dressed up to romp around on the floor with little kids all day long! I know I can always dress up on weekends but during weekdays I go to and from work looking and feeling like what I am (or rather like what I must do for a living): a frumpy nanny. My usual attire is comfortable clothes that I can roll around on the floor in and get dirty, because it is necessary for my job. What can I do to be more stylish in my everyday life (I work as a babysitter every day)?

  14. Thank you!
    You are so right and love your articles.
    Thank you for putting on paper and helping other women.
    Love what you said” We’ve been blessed with these increidible
    bodies that we can STYLE,NOURSIH AND ENJOY”
    That is a happy life.

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