French Feminine Secret: What’s Under Your Clothes Matters

french women lingerie

May I get a little personal?

What are you wearing underneath your clothes?  Yes, I’m talking about your bra and panties.

Now, let me ask you another question.  Would you be proud or horrified if something happened, and the world was staring at your current state of lingerie affairs?

If you are a woman that walks out of her home every day and deals with the world, and even if you never see the light of day, what you wear underneath your clothes matters.  I’m talking seriously matters.

In your world, everything is energy, and energy is creating your current reality. If you are wearing holey panties and stretched out bras, what kind of energy are you creating?  What message are you sending to the world?  How is it impacting your relationships?  Your business?  Your health?  I can tell you…it’s not good!

Regardless of whether you’re single or in a blazing hot love affair, your unmentionables are sending a very powerful message to your psyche.  Either you think you’re worth it, or you don’t, and that, my love, impacts everything!

Let’s take a stroll through a Parisian arrondisement, shall we?

Around almost every corner, you will see shops with beautifully constructed bras, panties, garter belts and such made from the highest quality materials displayed in the window.  In fact, even the smallest of villages in France will often have at least one lingerie shop to appease its community, affirming the high value that the French place on unmentionables.

French women spend 20% of their annual clothing budget on lingerie.  Yes, 20 percent!  Just like shoes and handbags, lingerie is a staple in the French woman’s closet.  Perhaps, it’s more important, because they understand that everything is about intention.  If a woman is wearing something beautiful underneath her clothing, she sends a very powerful message to herself and the world, and we see it as confidence and mystique.

In La Seduction, Elaine Sciolino says that French women dress themselves (lingerie included) to send the message:  “I am on a high plane, in control of my destiny and my beauty.  I am not easy to attain.  Do you think you are up to my standard?  If no, stay away. If yes, come and try to get me.”  While France is the land of seduction, many of my French girlfriends have seconded that lingerie is worn to make them feel good.  If a guy gets lucky enough to see it, then he should consider himself blessed.

Now, I’d like to address the three most popular rebuttals I get when I start talking lingerie at a cocktail party (and yes, I do bring up this topic).

First, if you find yourself thinking, “But, those French women have the bodies to wear fancy panties,” let me assure you that not every French woman is a size 2, and they don’t all have perfect bodies.  Just like most women, they have their lumps, bumps, and flaws.  But, typically, they are kinder to themselves, and they never deny themselves the pleasure of enjoying their bodies, regardless of age or size.

Secondly, if you think that just because no one will see it, it doesn’t matter, I respectfully disagree.  It’s like saying that you’re not going to clean your house because no one ever visits.  You live there.  Don’t you matter?  Uh….yeah!

I sometimes joke with people and tell them that I built my business on lingerie and lipstick.  Even though I sale neither (yet) and I rarely see clients face to face, I have personally experienced the power of getting up each day, putting on a beautiful bra and panty underneath my clothes, applying some lipstick and starting my day.  Knowing that I’ve taken the time and effort to adorn my body in beautiful lingerie affirms my self-worth, boosts my self-confidence, ignites my feminine creativity and helps me take myself seriously.  (Sorry, but I find it hard to take myself or my work seriously when I’m lounging in my PJ’s all day.)

Lastly, if you think that you’re not “that kind of girl,” I have a couple of thoughts to share.  Our mothers and grandmothers fought hard to make sure we have the sweet freedom that we experience today, but I want to assure you that it’s okay to be “that kind of girl,” one who finds great satisfaction in seducing and pleasing man.  It’s fun.  It’s playful. And, it’s very natural. Ultimately, you are the one receiving the pleasure, mais non?  French women believe that they can be strong and independent and seductresses.  And, just in case Prince Charming unexpectedly shows up on your doorstep, you’d probably prefer not greeting him in your granny panties.

But, let’s not forget that beautiful lingerie is not about seducing a man per se; it’s about seducing yourself.  Ultimately, it’s selfish; something just for you.  And, trust me, if it’s a man you’re after, he’ll know, because you’ll walk differently, hold yourself in higher regard and, yes, you’ll feel tres sexy!  Darling, investing in beautiful lingerie is about a life long love affair with yourself.

Let’s talk about this ladies.  Do you value beautiful lingerie?  Leave your comments below, sil vous plait!


What better way to explore and discover the power of lingerie than in the city that brought up La Perla and Chantel Thomas? Click here to learn more about Le Voyage Paris:  The Art of Being a Woman Immersion.  If you want to awaken your Inner Frenchie, fill out the application and send it to moi ASAP.  We only have a few spots left.

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28 Responses to French Feminine Secret: What’s Under Your Clothes Matters

  1. Today is a chocolate brown bra and panty set by Chantelle. I love my lingerie!!!! And Camelita Pink Lip Chic by Chantelle!
    I feel Gorgeous!!! Thanks Tonya!

  2. I find discussions about lingerie really interesting as I personally don’t wear any – as in I don’t even own a bra or a pair of knickers. I did in the past but as I explored more about who I am and how society has influenced me I came to the conclusion that for me I perceive a lot of manipulation in the use of lingerie – to a certain extent we’ve been socially conditioned into it. I feel at my most comfortable, most sexy, most wild, most natural without underwear.

  3. Love this article and would like to hear more. I’m 62 and am having an inner struggle to not feel over the hill. My body isn’t perfect but it ain’t too bad. What types of panties do women like to wear that makes them feel sexy? Boy shorts, Tap whatchamacallits, bikinis???

    • Anything that makes you feel fabulous. It differs for each woman.

      Thanks for stopping by, and instead of over the hill, consider yourself on top of the mountain. And, you get to choose whether you want to come down or not!



  4. Tonya, another lovely article and one I find intriguing. You’ve put a good case forward for getting rid of the ‘grandma undies’ and finding yourself some lingerie.
    Thank you – again for great words of wisdom.

  5. I adore this blog! I find it so crazy how the values I was raised with as a Cajun girl run parallel with Parisian french values. My mother taught me in my young adulthood to love lingerie, to know it makes you feel good on the inside even though no one sees it. I’ve read your blog posts on all the french feminine secrets and it feels good to know how close us Cajuns really are to the French. 🙂

  6. Tonya,
    I couldn’t agree more! At the beginning of this year I made the conscious decision to only wear beautiful lingerie ( in matching sets, thank you very much 😉 and to organize my lingerie drawer so that the sets were always together. It was a change with a domino effect that caused (and is still causing) me to set higher standards and take more healthy risks in all areas of my life. If you show yourself you care about yourself, good things can’t help but happen!!

  7. I love walking in to a lingerie shop and they have the matching bras and panties together. I want to buy a set for every day of the week. And yes, what you have on under your clothes does make a difference. Thanks Tonya!

  8. I absolutely love it!! Reading this truly makes me want to go lingerie shopping even the more. Its totally vital! 😉

  9. Love this post! I have a suggestion for you ladies. On those days when you feel most sensual and feminine, I dare you to wear a pair of lace thigh-high stocking under your dress the next time you leave the house.

    You’ll thank me later.

    Thanks Tonya!

  10. Thank you for such a wonderful blog! At AmaElla Ethical Lingerie we completely agree on the power on putting on a beautiful garment and the confidence it can give you. Your words encourage to build a positive body image of ourselves.

  11. I just entered menopause, which means no more nasty blood stains. Since then I have switched to thongs, and I have the body to rock it! I love how it makes me feel. And I agree that it makes me feel more HIGH VALUE, HIGH CLASS. I carry myself differently and I am more selective. I agree with your sentiment: and should any guy be so lucky to see them…. I first and foremost wear them to adorn me! I plan on having a granny-panty burning party to celebrate that the old me is gone!

  12. […] While most of us wear whatever is the most cost-effective and comfortable, French women spend up to twenty percent of their clothing budgets on foundations, lingerie, and underwear. For many of us who are not culturally French, this seems like a lot, and to an extent a waste, but what it does is gives the women who wear pretty things under their clothes the confidence that they are unique and beautiful. […]

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