What a Missoni Dress Taught Me About Suffering

As I opened up my luggage after a trip to L.A., I was met with the strong scent of perfume. That’s when I saw it. My brand new coral and gold Missoni dress had two dark purple round stains about the size of softballs on the front. I’d only worn once at the French Kiss Life World Tour in L.A. Underneath the Missoni dress, I found another big blotch on the leather of my adorable white Furla purse I’d purchased in Paris. It didn’t just stop there. An Italian cream cashmere cardigan that still had the tags still on was also affected.

My favorite perfume bottle had apparently exploded in transit.

All. Over. Everything.

Now, before I finish the story, tell me:

How would you have felt?

Really, feel into it.

Most women would have suffered.

I know the woman I was five years ago would have. I’m sure I would have run the stories about:

• how careless and stupid I was
• how much money I’d just wasted
• how much I’d miss the outfits
• how I’d probably never find the perfume again (it was bought in Grasse, France).

A Drama Queen’s Miracle.

Instead, here’s what happened:

I didn’t get upset at all.

First, I laughed.

Next, I picked up the Missoni dress and wondered if I could get the stain out.

Knowing my domestic abilities, especially when it comes to laundering, I decided that I needed a professional. I gathered the affected clothes and placed in a bag to take to the dry cleaner.

Then, I got on with my day.

No drama.

I can’t express how shocked and proud I am of my response. I’ve worked hard to style my mind to not suffer needlessly.

Sometimes, I do a fabulous job, such as this incident. Other times, I suffer.

But, I know I’m always the one creating it.

In life, there are facts and there’s fiction.

The fiction, or story we tell, can either free us or shackle us.

In this situation, the facts were:

Perfume had leaked into my luggage and stained my clothing and accessories.

Everything else was fiction.

Drama is not necessary.

You get to choose how you frame the facts of your life, and I’ve learned that it doesn’t serve us to tell a painful story.

In this case, I chose to tell the story of:

No one died.
Nothing of real value has been lost.
These are just material goods.
I’ll see if it can be addressed.

And, with that, I felt relief. I didn’t suffer needlessly.

When you appreciate Buddha and fashion.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I adore my things and want to take excellent care of them.

However, The Buddha said,

“The root of suffering is attachment.”

First of all, I’m tickled that I can talk about a Missoni dress and Buddha in the same article.

Secondly, while I adore my things, I love my inner state of being more. Because of this, I’m learning to be less attached to things and expectations.

When things don’t go my way (and they often don’t), the old me would spiral into despair running to the pantry to find my bag of Cheetos to drown out my problems.

However, I’ve styled my mind to be both excited about what I can create and letting go of the attachment of it having to happen to feel good.

This means …

When the eggs fall on the floor… I clean them up.
When my man is cranky… I offer him a hug.
When I burn dinner… I find something else to eat.

And, when perfume stains my clothes… I take them to the cleaners.

I strive to not waste my energy arguing with reality. That only causes needless suffering.

We’re not in charge of life. Things leak. People are people. Clothes get stained.

But, the good news is that you are in charge of your story.

Tell yourself stories that free you from suffering.

When you French Kiss Life, you understand that suffering is optional.

Without the painful story, there is no drama. 
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JOIN THE CHIC CONVERSATION: What’s something over which you’ve been unnecessarily suffering? How can you tell a story that offers a bit of relief?