The Two Questions I Ask Every New Year’s Eve


I have four bottles of Veuve Cliquot Rose chilling in my fridge, a fancy outfit picked out and one of my dear friends is flying in for one of my favorite holidays of the year: NEW YEAR’S EVE!

There’s something about the New Year that gets me all giddy inside. It’s a transition from the old into the new, a fresh slate to create your life and a chance to make the coming year even more fulfilling than the last.

We get to ask: how good am I willing to let life get?

Now, I know that it’s just another day in the year, and that every day is a chance to start with a clean slate, but a New Year asks us to consciously think about where we’ve been and where we are going.

Yet, New Year resolutions bore me. I mean, c’mon. Do you really get excited about losing weight?

About five years ago (could be four or six, so we’ll go with five), I was sitting at a restaurant in New York City with the family and friends. I desperately wanted a new way to ring in the year.

This may sound a little woo-hoo, but when I went to the lady’s room, I was putting my lipstick on in the mirror and I heard someone whisper: celebrate as if.

There was not another soul in the lady’s room, so I’m going to go with it being Audrey Hepburn’s ghost, since I’m sure this was a Audrey kind of place.

When I returned to the table, the Champagne was flowing, and that night I started a new tradition: celebrating what has been and what will be.

This tradition has been going strong ever since. My friends, daughter and clients know that this is how I love to plan for big and small things. We celebrate as if everything we want has already happened.

Here are the two questions I ask every New Year’s Eve:

What do you want to celebrate from this year?

When you French Kiss Life, life is a celebration. You aren’t so busy chasing things that you forget to slow down long enough to reflect on all the lessons, goodness and highlights.

Honestly, I would feel horrible for 2015 if I just passed her by without paying my sentiments and homage to a year that’s taught me so much.

On New Year’s Eve, look back over your year and who you’ve become and what you’ve accomplished with gratitude and reverence.

Excavate all the goodness from this year. Turn those challenges into events that helped you grow stronger. Look at how you’ve changed. Celebrate what you created.

Then, and only then, are you ready to move to the second question.

What will you be celebrating this time next year?

I’ve heard some people call it pre-gaming. Abraham Hicks calls it pre-paving. Athletes call is visioning. I like to call it “celebrating as if.” Sounds so much more fun, right? Especially with a glass of bubbly in your hand.

Here’s how it works:

Fast forward to a year from now and pretend that you’re sharing everything you’ve become, experienced, created and savored over the year.

Here’s the crucial part: speak as if it’s already done.

Last year, my “celebrating as if” included many things, big and small:

  • A year full of rich memories with family, friends and my daughter
  • Having my finances working beautifully
  • Expanding the message of French Kiss Life to women all over the world
  • Having an A-class team
  • Cultivating more elegance and simplicity (in my life and business)
  • Taking exquisite care of my body
  • Deepening into a woman of style and substance
  • Organizing my home (especially my closet)
  • Getting out and meeting ladies in the French Kiss Life community
  • Leading a first-class, one of a kind retreat in Paris
  • Savoring the simple everyday pleasures of life

Want to know how powerful this exercise is?

Everything I stated I’d be celebrating last year has happened.

Remember, when you celebrate as if, don’t get all up in your head and try to be reasonable or practical. Allow this exercise to be fun and let it flow with big and small dreams.

If you don’t hold yourself back, life won’t hold you back. {tweet it}

Just take a sip of Champagne and celebrate as if. Deal?

Here’s my favorite part of this exercise:

When each person answers their questions, everyone raises their Champagne flutes in the air and celebrates it with you.

They might say,

“Great job on the book.”
“You look ravishing.”
“How many hours have you put on that private jet?”
“How was that trip to Paris?”
“Wow, look at how much you’ve created this year.”

For one evening, everyone gets to play out the role of their dreams, and it’s a blast!

The reason this exercise is so powerful is because of the feelings it evokes.

You cannot do this exercise without feeling excited and turned on about your life. But, if you wake up on January 15th and completely forget about your celebrations, this exercise will not work for you.

So, here’s how to make sure you stay in the magic of your celebration:

1.  Have someone write down your celebrations.

With all the Champagne and good times, you may forget. For each person
sharing, make sure someone captures their declaration. You can even
record it on your phone and send it to them the next day.

2.  Make a plan

Look at your year from the end and think about all the steps you must take make your dreams a reality. For example, if you celebrate publishing a book, think about each step involved: writing 10 chapters, finding a publisher or self-publishing, illustrations, etc. Break each step down into doable tasks and schedule into your calendar. All you must do at that point is show up for yourself (and the magic).

3.  Evoke the Feelings Daily

The most important part is to stay in the feeling of celebration. Read your New Year’s Eve celebrations often. I keep mine on my desk by my computer as a constant reminder. Staying in the magic is the secret sauce.

So, go out there on New Year’s Eve and celebrate all that was and will be.

I’m certainly celebrating with you. In fact, do you want to share your celebrations with me, so I can toast with you?

Share in the comments:

  • What do you want to celebrate from this year?
  • What will you be celebrating this time next year?

Happy New Year!



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7 Responses to The Two Questions I Ask Every New Year’s Eve

  1. Tonya, I always find your writing inspirational and this post is beautiful. I have had the most amazing, transformative, hard year. I do not make New Year’s resolutions but determine my focus. (See Carl Richards, Behavior Gap, the “Focus” sketch–my favorite.) This was the year I got it right.

    I decided I would focus on my health this year, after being very sick, dealing with chronic issues, and feeling unsupported by the people who were “supposed to” care the most. Instead of resolutions, I decided that all my decisions would be based on or filtered through the question “does this support or improve my health?” I had NO idea how powerful this would be.

    I left my husband, rented a condo, walked my dog daily, got divorced, sold our house, changed jobs, bought a house, got a cat and a new boyfriend (who has been a good friend to me for a long time), and broke up with one of my “best” friends.

    I still have health issues (as those of us with chronic diseases do) but I feel better than I have in years and feel strong, independent, and on the right path. I’m deciding on my focus for next year and I’m SO excited that I feel comfortable enough in my skin (and the bubble I created for myself) to do the things I’ve put off, to have fun and try new things with great friends, and to just take care of me.

    I am celebrating the transformation of my life in 2015. I transformed my life and it is amazing. I did this!

    In 2016, I will celebrate my first trip abroad in almost 20 years. I have other personal and professional goals, but that is the one I am SO excited about. Happy celebrations, everyone!

    • Wow Virginia! 2015 was a incredible year for you! High-five lady.

      I can’t wait to hear about your focus for 2016. And, where’s your trip? You know I’m dying to know.

  2. Dearest Tonya,

    So inspirational! Thank you <3

    What I want to celebrate from this year:
    I got a new job that I love, AND I am now making more money than ever.
    I have learned to rely on myself, to become an independent woman, since I divorced end of 2014.
    I have become a more present and loving mom to my daughter.
    I have had much fun being single, and I learned to adore myself in the process (not perfect at it, but I did break a pattern of needing men to "fill me up"). Then, I attracted a great relationship <3
    My friendships have grown stronger.
    I enrolled in SCS and enjoyed every moment of it! Learned a lot here, too – it really has changed me in a lot of good ways!

    This time next year, I will be celebrating:
    Moving into my dream house with my daughter. Maybe even buying it!
    Publishing a book including my illustrations
    My loving relationship, that has just grown stronger throughout the year.
    Spending more time reading and making art than watching crime shows on youtube 🙂
    Being more present with my daughter, making art and playing games with her.
    Paying off more of my debt than I have ever done before.
    Enjoying the simple pleasures in life and thereby proving to myself that paying off debt can lead to a deeper, richer life – that it doesn't mean I have to deprive myself.

    I have a lot of ambition for 2016, for sure 🙂

    Happy New Year, Tonya <3

    • Oh Jill,

      How I relate to so many of the things you mentioned!

      And, please keep me posted this year, because I would LOVE to celebrate all the things you’ve mentioned as a reality + some fabulous other surprises.

      Tons of Love and Happy 2016!

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