Which of these two lives are you living?


My beau sent me a message the other day. It read:

The brave may not live forever
but the cautious never live at all.

It made me wonder where I’m being too cautious in my own life.

Light bulb moment: I have been hiding my body.

Rarely, do I ever post a pic of me in a bikini. And, when I do, it’s usually with a sarong on or from the top up.

Of course, I understand why. I was raised to be modest. As a young girl, I wasn’t allowed to wear a swimsuit in front of boys. I had a lot of body shame growing up.

Then, there’s the judgement: she’s too skinny, fat, sexy, flabby, bold. We always seem to be too much of something.

But, I don’t want to hide any part of myself because . . .

Elegant women don’t hide. {Tweet this} 

(So, here I am posting a pic of me hanging off of a tree having a blast — string bikini, stretch marks and all.)

So, let me ask you:

Where are you being too cautious in your life?

I know how that feeling of fear can be so convincing that you don’t book the trip, call the person, sign up for the class, wear the sexy dress or get on stage.

The feeling of fear is real.

But, it’s just a feeling.

I always ask myself, “Am I willing to let a feeling steal my dreams?”

And yet . . . it’s hard to be brave.

It’s hard to put yourself out there and be ridiculed.
It’s hard to leave the corporate job that promises security.
It’s hard to leave a marriage that’s not working.
It’s hard to put the fork down when it tastes so good.
It’s hard to slow down when everyone is telling you to go faster.
It’s hard to speed up when you’re afraid of where you’re going.
It’s hard to move to a new city (or even country).

It’s hard, folks.

But, do you know what’s harder?


My favorite quote by Hafiz says, “Oh World, one regret that I’m determined not to have when I’m lying on thy death bed is that I did not kiss thee enough.”

French Kissing Life is about seizing the moment, living with a grateful heart, treating your life as art, doing things that scare you, and doing it with passion & style.

Cultivating a beautiful life will not always feel like a cashmere sweater on a cool night. But, the discomfort you will face is so worth it.

Let me ask you:

Would you rather live a cautious life or a brave one? {tweet it}

So, courageous one, share one brave act you’re going to take this week in the comments below.

I just booked a trip to somewhere I’ve never been before. Can you guess where? Stay tuned to found out.

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20 Responses to Which of these two lives are you living?

  1. Tonya, I love your suggestion to question whether we’re letting our feelings run the show. I’ve been paying attention to this lately, and I’m seeing how fickle and often inaccurate my feelings in the moment are. Desire and inspiration are much more reliable than emotion when it comes to taking those bold and memorable steps towards a life well lived.

    BTW, you are perfect in your bikini! Stretch marks? Where? Seeing your gorgeous pic totally uplifted me this morning. Cheers to Bold Beauty! 🙂

    • Steph, thanks for sharing.

      You can feel a feeling without acting on it. It takes a lot of practice. I do it every, single day!

      And, thank you. Yes, I have many, but so what? It’s my one amazing body, and I’m going to love her to bits.



  2. Hi Tonya. Loved the post cast. Yesterday (Friday) I did something that was really out of my “comfort zone”. I volunteered to model 2 vintage outfits for an event that was taking place in my City. Modelling is something I have never done. All went well and I came away feeling very proud of myself.

  3. Perfect timing for me – thank you Tonya! That quote “Am I willing to let a feeling steal my dreams?” is exactly what I needed right now, and probably one to re-read everyday.
    I’m about to book a trip to a country that fascinates me and scares me in equal measure. But I know in my heart, despite my fears, I’d most definitely regret not going.

  4. A great blog. I am going to (when I get back from UK trip) book in for some sort of dance class. Either swing or Salsa! It’s all about allowing myself to let go and be ‘lead’. That requires a little vulnerability and trust.
    Thanks for the reminder!

    • Thanks so much Sonja!

      Letting go and being inspired is such a beautiful way to live, and you’re right, it requires an immense amount of trust and vulnerability, but what’s the alternative?

      Rock on.

  5. I am going to the Oregon Coast for a vacation. I had invited my husband, whom I am separated from, to go along and then he did something that was totally disrespectful… so I “resend ed” the invitation to join me. Fear reared it’s ugly head filled with “what if’s” and I took a deep breath and decided I’m not going to worry about it, I am going to have a great time…and feel a peace about my decision.

    • Oh Sherry, I love your last statement, because the truth is always this: you get to decide how you feel about any situation. Have a fabulous time in Oregon.

  6. Fabulous!! I recently decided that I am going to wear a bikini and be proud of my stretch marks! It’s tough, but you know what? I have them because I have two fabulous kids and if someone doesn’t want to look, they don’t have to!!

    • Heidi, I SO relate to this. I tried to hide mine for years. When I stopped, it was the most freeing feeling ever. At first, it was uncomfortable, as I felt that everyone was seeing them. The funny thing is that no one really cares. It was all in my head. And, if someone does care, then the problem is them, not me.

      Excited for the bikini!



  7. Tonya, you look absolutely fabulous in your bikini! I hope you’ll share with us on a Periscope or Soiree one day what you do for your abs and arms to look so toned. Keep rockin’ it, girl!

  8. A friend invited me to her church event and I’m simply going to go.. It’s a women’s group on Friday night… Thank you! Since reading your blog, I have been putting myself out there more.

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