Why Don’t You…Make Every Day Enchanting?

Some call it magic, allure, seduction or charm, but I prefer to call it enchantment, and it runs through the veins of each moment.  From the smile of a stranger to the wind brushing your face, it’s as if the world is begging you to notice its charm.It’s what we’re all after – to have our breath taken away, to be taken in the updraft of passion and feel the possibility, or dare I say, magic, of each moment.

Yet, most people are too busy, caught up in the humdrum of life, to even see the wonder that is happening all around us.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that it’s up to you to create and see the magic in your own life.

In my years of working with women, I’ve seen them crave a sense of everyday allure and charm.  They desire to sit down at night with a beautiful meal to enjoy their family and friends, take a bubble bath with a glass of Champagne or read something other than a self-help book or business manual.  Sometimes, it’s having fresh flowers in their homes, having luxurious experiences, or simply breathing space to enjoy their lives.  As you’ll learn, enchantment comes in many forms.

For years, I lived like most women – on the “busy” train of running here and there, reacting to life instead of creating it. At the end of the day, I’d lie in my bed asking, “When will that day come when I can enjoy my life?”  The truth is that I was living a mediocre life, following the masses of people who lived lives of quiet desperation, all while ignoring the enchantment of life.

That day came when I decided to become the curator of my own life and began to look at the opportunities around me to create moments of absolute awe and ecstasy. I wanted each day to be filled with a little glamour and charm. I didn’t want my life to be a series of checked-off to do lists and spreadsheets. I’m sure my 90-year old self would yawn at the thought.

“Defy the crowd. The crowd isn’t always wise. It can also lead you down a path of silliness, sub-optimal choices, and downright destruction. Enchantment is as necessary for people to diverge from a crowd as it is to get people to join one.”
― Guy Kawasaki

If you desire to create more enchantment in your life, here are some ways that I do it (from how I think to what I wear):

  • Become fascinated.   This is one of my secret paths to enchantment.  When working with private clients and in my Slim, Chic and Savvy program, I teach women the art of fascination to create the bodies and lives of their dreams.  Here’s how it works:  instead of judging, being frustrated or becoming overwhelmed about a certain situation (which, by the way, only keeps you stuck in what you don’t want), choose to be fascinated about what’s going on.  When you’re enchanted,  you can see more clearly what’s happening and discover solutions to issues that would otherwise keep you stuck.  You become the magician of your own life.
  • A vase of flowers in your home. Monet declared, “I must have flowers, always, and always! Flowers are nature’s Chanel, and to bring them into your home adds a layer of beauty and allure.  Simply one look at a beautiful flower can shift your energy.
  • The perfect colored lipstick. Adding a pop of color to your lips is like adding a lustrous color to your bedroom wall.  It creates a feeling of seduction and allure. This one is my go to and has people stopping me on the street to ask what I’m wearing.  The color is catfight – the perfect feminine pink that will leave magic on the cheek (or lips) of whomever you choose.
  • A walk in the woods. Enchantment need not cost a thing.  It’s right outside your door, and walking through a forest of trees can make a girl feel like Alice in Wonderland.
  • Japanese Quince scented candles burning.  When I smell this candle burning, I feel luxurious.  These candles are a must have for anyone who desires to add a seductive fragrance to their home.  If it’s an Oprah favorite, then you know it must be fabulous!  I keep these burning daily, and I cannot tell you how enchanting it is to walk in and smell this unique fragrance.
  • Look at everything with wonder and awe. I began to practice this years ago, and it really does add a depth of magic to your life, from being curious about why your child is having a meltdown to staring at a glass of wine and wondering what had to had to get it from a vineyard to your table. Life is a wondrous affair!
  • Dress up with a little flair.  When I walk down the streets of Paris, it feels like a movie.  The women and men take great pride in their self-presentation.  But, it goes much deeper than that.  There’s an individual sense of style.  The result?  It’s part of the magic of the city of lights!  And, you can I’ll be wearing one of these in the South of France this summer to create a little style magic!
  • High tea at noon. You don’t have to be at the Ritz Paris to enjoy sitting down for a little tea party.  You can add that enchantment from the comfort of your own home.
  • Build a fire, watch the stars and create a ritual. There’s something about summer nights, bright shiny stars and a hot fire that helps us reconnect to the magic of our lives. At least once a week, I build a fire and stare up at the stars and make a wish.  I write that wish down and release it into the fire.  It’s one of my secret potions to living an enchanted life.
  • Mesmerize with Melodies.  I think one of the greatest tools for creating magic in your life is music.  What do you want to feel?  Energetic?  Put on some Pitbull.  Sexy?  That may call for a little Buddha Bar.  Like you’re sitting on a beach sipping a Mojito?  Perhaps some Jack Johnson will do the trick.  Some of my favorite Pandora stations for creating enchantment in my day are:  Exotica/Lounge, Boa Sorte, Blackmill, Gypsy Kings, Lana del Ray and Hotel Costes.
  • Host a Dream Party.  Unfortunately, too many people get together and talk about their problems, but to live an enchanted life, it will require that you limit the focus on problems and talk about your desires and dreams instead.  One of the best ways to do this is to host a dream party where people are only allowed to discuss what they love and desire.  It’s fun, and you get to learn a lot about people when they open up and spill the beans on what they really want.

“The enchanted day is only enchanted if we ourselves believe that anything is possible.”
― Mark O’Brien

Yes, we all have our day to day lives, filled with work, housework, homework, carpool, PTO meetings, board meetings, deadlines, agendas, spilled milk, dog poop, sick kids, clients, bills, taxes and all the other real stuff.

However, enchantment is not as much about what you do; it’s how you go upon doing it.  It starts from within – from seeing the beauty and mystery of life – and all that spills into the physical world – from what you surround yourself with to how you communicate with people.

“Without a doubt the sense of beauty does not lie determined in the concreteness of an individual beautiful thing or person. Rather its purpose is much more the enchantment of the soul, for there is nothing physical that is not made with the intent of affecting the soul, and there is no soul that does not intend to dazzle everything physical with its sensations.”
― Alexander Lernet-Holenia, Mars in Aries

Every day offers you the opportunity to create enchantment in a seemingly ordinary day.The candle? Light it. The music? Turn it on. Dinner time? Set the table with love. Your wardrobe? Pick something that makes your feel fabulous. Standing at the mirror in the morning? Take a little extra time to look and feel your best. At the coffee shop? Offer a smile or buy a coffee for someone. Thinking of a friend? Send her a handwritten note. A sick child? Cook up some chicken soup and turn it into down time for the both of you. The juicy idea brewing in your mind? Stop and write it down. The trip? Plan and and dream about it. The sunset? Walk away from the computer or laundry and notice it.

“If you still believe in magic,
you’re subject to enchantment.”
― Toba Beta

I choose enchantment as a way of life. Am I living a fantasy? Perhaps, some might think so, but I’d rather think that I am just mixing a little sparkle with a sense of wonder to see what I can create.

How do you create enchantment in your day?  Tell us in the comments below.  I can’t wait to read them.

Enchanted and Amazed,

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6 Responses to Why Don’t You…Make Every Day Enchanting?

  1. Sally Asher says:

    Wonderful post Tonya! I create enchantment everyday by sitting on my front porch and relaxing with a freshly brewed coffee. It’s my time to dream, breathe deeply and smell the roses:)

  2. Thanks, Tonya, for inspiration!!!! I have read your article several times in the last 20 hours since it arrived and you are so right. It’s not finding the right activity that makes life enchanting, it’s the way you do everything. This is a paradigm changer. I just ordered the quince candle as a birthday gift — that was also handy information. Much respect and admiration, Laura

    • Tonya says:

      Hi Laura,

      As always, it’s so great to hear from you. Enjoy that candle. I think you’re going to LOVE it!

  3. Kabi Nyoike says:

    What a beautiful post Tonya and a great reminder to always be enchanted for life has a great deal to offer. My moments of enchantment are wearing something sexy on dates with girlfriends, experiencing different cultures, drinking hot Kenyan tea, wearing makeup and enjoying sunshine filled days.

  4. Laura Wagner says:

    J’adore this post and you, Tonya Leigh Williams. The art of enchantment can be practiced anywhere, from the DMV to wandering through a farmer’s market and picking out beautiful strawberries. I will be enchanted in the airports I pass through tomorrow as I wing my way to the Big Apple.

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Modern Day Icon: Author Jamie Cat Callan

This column is dedicated to featuring modern day iconic women – those women who are living life by their own rules, inspiring others with their presence and passion, owning their own personal style and, of course, French Kissing Life!

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A few months ago, I was absolutely thrilled when I received the following message:

Bonjour Tonya!

I absolutely love your daily kisses and your blog!

We are definitely kindred spirits in the quest for Ooh la la!

xo,

Jamie

Talk about serendipity!  I had just finished reading Jamie’s book, Bonjour, Happiness!so the fact that she was contacting me with mutual admiration was quite lovely, to say the least.   Jamie, with her generous heart, even sent signed copies to the French Kiss the World Society members, and I listened and watched as they devoured every word.

So, when Jamie told me that her latest book, Ooh La La:French Women’s Secrets to Feeling Beautiful Every Day, was being released in May, I knew I had to introduce her to my community (but be forewarned, if you are a lady who’s desiring to explore the French feminine essence, you will fall in love with her every word!).

I had the chance to dig into Jamie’s mind and find out some ways that she adds ooh la la to her own life.

The Interview

So, Jamie, what’s the most hedonistic moment of your day?

I don’t think I have a hedonistic moment in my day, because truthfully, I make an effort to bring small daily pleasures into my life.  I’ll wear pretty lingerie and perfume every day, I always get dressed up before leaving the house, and I’ll arrange fresh flowers on the dining room table.  In terms of a truly hedonistic moment—about once a week, my husband brings home sushi and then arranges it on a beautiful platter.  I prepare a bubble bath upstairs, with candles and music.

Then, my husband brings up the sushi, pops the champagne cork, and we enjoy the sushi and champagne in the bubble bath.  It’s heavenly!

I believe each woman should discover her signature style element. Do you have one, and if so, will you share what it is?

That’s easy.  Red lipstick!

The French know how to play the game of seduction better than anyone!  What’s your secret seduction technique?

Well, I will often wear a red silk slip under a black dress, along with some very nice lingerie.  But, my real seduction technique is simply this: I think sexy thoughts.  Somehow, without a word, my husband just knows!

Here’s a round-trip plane ticket, gratis! Where are you going?

Paris, bien sur!  But, also, I would then have to take a train down the southwest and visit my favorite little village in Auvillar.  This is a magical place with olive groves and vineyards and the sweetest people in the world.

Fill in the blank: “Life is nothing without _________.”

Champagne, dancing, love and ooh la la!

For the woman who wants to add ooh la la to her life, what would you suggest to be her first step?

Slow down and smell the roses—oh, and the café, the baguette, the sweet breeze in your garden.  Basically, slow down.  This is what my French grandmother taught me and it has always enriched my life.

Merci Jamie!  Women like you inspire all of us to indulge in the daily pleasures of life and add a little ooh-la-la to our day. 

Jamie’s book,  Ooh la la!: French Women’s Secrets to Feeling Beautiful Every Day, is being released today.  Make sure to check it out, and stop by and give Jamie a bonjour on Facebook!

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More about Jamie Cat Callan

Jamie Cat Callan is the author of the wildly popular books French Women Don’t Sleep Alone and Bonjour, Happiness!   Her books have been translated into 15 different languages and now she travels the world, sharing her joie de vivre and ooh la la!
And speaking of Ooh La La! that’s the title of her latest book:  Ooh La La!  French Women’s Secrets to Feeling Beautiful Every Day.  In this combination lifestyle guide and travelogue, Jamie interviews hundreds of French women on topics ranging from beauty, fashion, lingerie, mystery, confidence and how to develop one’s own unique style.  Publishers Weekly just gave it a rave review, saying “This charming foray into French femininity will make a perfect cadeau for any Francophile lady.”


Jamie tells us that French women are not born more attractive than anyone else. They simply learn at a very young age how to feel beautiful, confident, and sexy, inside and out. It’s an allure that outlasts youth–in fact, some of France’s most celebrated women are femmes d’un certain âge. Experience only makes them more irresistible. Growing up, Jamie Cat Callan had a French grand-mère to instruct her on style, grooming, and genuinely liking her reflection in the mirror. Now she shares that wisdom along with advice from other French women on fragrance, image consulting, makeup, and so much more!

What about you?  How do you add a little ooh la la to your day?  Tell us in the comments below.

Cheers to Ooh la la!,
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